Vera Elizabeth; 17 years old; Christian; Aussie; Germany's Biggest Fan;
Living The Life For Jesus;

Just be patient, watch this space and something cool will appear...one day...
I promise

Emily; Nikki; Hayley; Amber; Ozzie;
Photos From Germany; PostSecret;
Disaster MB; StarGirl; Y.F.U

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Hey hey.
How's it going? Oh, this is really cool. As I type, I am too fast for the computer, so this hasn't even shown up on the screen yet...how cool. Or annoying, whichever way you want to take it.

I went for a job interview yesterday, turned out it was more of a trial shift, but whatever. (I would have worn more comfy shoes if I knew that!)

Anyway, I have recently discovered that I am a really shut off person. I don't trust people very easily, and therefore do not show them any emotion whatsoever when I meet them.
Well, I guess it's not that I don't trust them, it is just that I don't show them emotion.
I got it at my last two jobs. Before I got to know everyone, I was pretty shut off with them, which led to eventual questions if I was OK, if something was bothering me etc etc. After a while it got better and I wasn't shut off to the same degree.
At this new job, I was pretty much like that again...it was really weird. I was just walking around doing the job and she came up to me and asked if I was OK...umm, yea, I'm fine. I always use tired as the excuse.

I don't know why it's like that, it is an unexplainable habit I have.
I guess it stems somewhat from my own personal security clause- I don't tell anyone anything about my life.
So far it has worked for me, because if you don't tell anyone anything, no one can spread any gossip or use anything against you. Like at school, there is no way I would tell anyone stuff like who I like, am going out with, whatever. It's a protection thing...maybe, if that's what you could call it.
It's almost like I build a wall around myself, and if anyone bothers to break down the barrier, then that is when I start being open around them. That's when I become able to show them my true emotions and talk to them openly about stuff.
Maybe I'm just screwed up in the brain or something. Or it's like, serious trust issues.

OK, this is officially the must f***ed up post I have ever written. But now at least people know why I am so shut off with them. At least I know too. I don't mean to do it, it's not because I have something against you- don't take it personally, it happens with everyone.
This is what I do at 4am when I can't get to sleep...
Don't worry, I'm not going to jump out at you from a back alley, covered in blood, hair all messed up and clothes torn, holding a knife or something. I swear I'm not crazy...